Crack Juice

Straight up – cardio is my enemy. I really strongly dislike it. Kinda the same way I strongly dislike paying taxes, or the way guys strongly dislike getting kicked in the balls. I prefer knocking out my cardio by doing a strenuous hike or running the Santa Monica stairs off of San Vicente. If I’m on a tight schedule, I’ll suck it up and do about 25-30 minutes of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) on the treadmill. And for that, I need my crack juice.


Look – my goal with this blog is to share with you what I’m doing to get and stay fit and become an athlete. I’m not a doctor, or a nutritionist or a personal trainer. And I’m SURE there are better ways to grind out a gnarly cardio sesh without the use of a supplement I lovingly refer to as “crack juice”. But sometimes I just need to get through it, and I need a little jolt of caffeine to keep me going.

And by a little jolt, I mean 200 mg of pure unadulterated caffeine, with a side of Beta-alanine and L-Citrulline. I mix one half to one full scoop of this bad boy with water and gulp it down about 10-15 minutes before I hit the gym.

Now, before you get all crazy, a standard cup of coffee has about 80 mg – 100 mg of caffeine and most of the people I know drink at least 2-3 cups a day – not to mention the fact that they prepare it with nasty CoffeeMate creamer and cancer-causing Splenda. Also, I DON’T use this more than 3 times a week. And on the days I do use it, I don’t drink coffee. This does not give you a ‘head rush’ or anything, it really just gives you the fuel and energy for an intense sustained workout.

Plus – this supplement has additional benefits aside from the caffeine. Beta-alanine rules and since I’m lazy I’m going to direct you to this site to read more about it:

Click here to buy Optimum Nutrition’s Platinum Pre-workout supplement on Amazon.

With that being said- I’m on my lunch break and I gotta get back to work. Happy FriYAY!!

Day 12: Beast Mode!

Today I tried something new! After reading this awesome article on ‘fasted cardio’ I gave it a whirl. I just can’t stand cardio – the treadmill bores the shit outta me, I’m way too clumsy for the elliptical, and I can’t push myself hard enough on a stationary bike. I really rather go hiking or run around my neighborhood. However, I just don’t have that luxury when I gotta be at work bright and early. So I figured I’d give this a shot.

I woke up bright and early and got dressed in my gym gear. I resisted the urge to chug my normal protein shake – and for some reason, perhaps because I was specifically NOT eating, this morning I was really starving. Tummy growling and all. Nevertheless, I jumped on the freeway and about 10 minutes out from the gym, I downed my cocktail of 10 grams of BCAA’s and 300 mg of my pre-workout supplement (aka, my crack juice). I like my crack juice but I never take it on the same day I have a venti ice coffee from Starbucks. They both have about the same amount of caffeine, and my goal is not to be tweaked out for the rest of the day at work.

Per the article’s suggestion, and from other research I’ve done, my goal today was only about 25 minutes of cardio – not including the 5 minute warm-up I do, nor the 5 minute walking-only cool-down. I specifically was going to do HIIT cardio – High Intensity Interval Training. Right as I started experiencing that tingly beta-alanine rush, I got on the treadmill and walked on a very steep incline for about 5 minutes. I set the treadmill for 60 seconds at 3.8 mph to alternate with 60 seconds at 6.5 mph, at a level ‘2’ incline. I don’t give these numbers as a suggestion to any readers – I have HORRIBLE cardiovascular endurance. Probably (definitely) because I hate doing cardio, so I really haven’t been doing any at all. I had created a new playlist to go with my new cardio workout and it carried me all the way through! It was tough in the middle – I wanted to stop so bad! But I pushed through it and completed my fast-walking with all-out-sprinting intervals. I sweated like a pig – my face got all beet-red – and my hair was a mess by the end. But I loved it because it felt like the time went by quickly and my heart rate was elevated the whole time. I did down a giant protein shake and a banana the second I got into my office after the workout and felt like a champ for the rest of the day! ohmygodihatecardio.

Day 6: Tired & Sore

I wasn’t feelin’ it today.  I don’t think there’s a single part of my body that ain’t sore. My shoulders, my triceps, my forearms, my back…my booty! Ugh! I was walking funny around the office today and could barely get out of my chair. I’ve really kicked butt this week and I was thinking this would be a perfect day to rest and recover and not hit the gym. Instead….I found myself at the Santa Monica Stairs. Now that’s dedication, cuz these stairs are beyond tough.

sm stairs

That’s 107 steps ascending up a total of 109 feet. They’re a killer but it’s such a great alternative to the gym. Since I find cardio boring and horrible, this place really makes it bearable. You’re blocks from the ocean, there’s a nice breeze and you have a beautiful view of the Palisades at the top. There are actually two sets of stairs – one is concrete, the other is wooden. I like running the wooden stairs since there’s a little give to them and it’s easier on my joints.

I haven’t run the stairs in a long time but was still able to do 10 reps in 32 minutes.  I count going all the up and all the way back down as ONE set. I do a combination of skipping steps, jogging up one step at a time, or walking. Sometimes I feel like crawling. However you do them, you’ll be a sweaty hot miserable mess in no time. Here are some suggestions if you wanna run the stairs (or any stairs close to you):

1) Bring plenty of water. No joke. It gets hot and you need to stay hydrated. Bonus Tip: I park at the top on Adelaide Drive but I leave my water at the bottom – that way if I get to the top and don’t feel like finishing all my sets I’m forced to go back down & up once more to get my water bottle.

2) Bring a hat and/or sunglasses.

3) Please don’t spray a shit ton of perfume on right before you arrive. All the Palisades and Santa Monica milfs like to layer it on and then prance around. It can smell, quite frankly, like a whorehouse sometimes. I’d much rather be smelling the ocean – which is literally down the street. Stop it ladies, please.

4) If you’re not comfortable wearing tiny booty shorts – don’t do it. They ride up and everyone behind you has quite a clear view of you digging out your wedgies as you self-consciously climb the steps.

5) Do stretch before & after. Or start with a slow one-step-at-a-time warm up set.

6) Bring a carb and/or protein heavy snack for right after – this workout really takes it outta you and I don’t like driving home feeling light-headed and dizzy.

7) Grrrr. Sorry my blog is so ghetto still. I give up trying to get the image of this map to show up. Here’s a link if you wanna hit those stairs: