Yesterday at work, while I was in a trance gazing admiringly at pictures of Amanda Latona, I started seriously contemplating the idea of entering my first novice bikini competition. I’ve known deep down inside that this is something I’ve wanted to try, but honestly – I really didn’t think I could swing it. I can be plagued by the fear of losing or looking bad. It has been pointed out to me that if I think I’m not going to win, I refuse to play. Also, I keep telling myself that I’m just not strong enough to make the sacrifices that are needed to not look like a damn fool up on stage in a tiny bikini. So, what does one do once they make the decision to compete in a bodybuilding competition? Nap!!!
I left work, drove home, and was intent on jumping into bed and taking a looong nap. As I was laying there, I checked Facebook and got a notification that my good friend Rodney had posted some damn video and tagged me. Despite the fact that it wasn’t a video about cute animals doing something adorable, I watched it anyway.
Goddamit Rodney. I don’t know what happened but by the end of this video I was nearly in tears, Amex in hand, entering the NPC Gold Coast Muscle Classic.
So yeah. Today is Day 1. I have 149 days left to train and prepare for this contest. I’m going chronicle this journey day by day and see what happens.
I’m going to post what I eat, and how I train. Nothing too formal. Maybe things will change. Stay tuned.
DAY 1 Breakfast: 1 whole egg, 2 egg whites, with some peanut butter on them (I know, it sounds weird, I’ve been putting PB on my eggs since I was little) and one slice of turkey bacon.
Afternoon snack: handful of almonds, sliced apples, some carrots and hummus.
I didn’t want to work out. I really didn’t. But how could I skip a work out on Day 1 of this journey? I couldn’t. I knew that would be wrong. So, I forced myself to do some cardio. I hate cardio with every molecule in my body and it shows in my tummy. I downloaded an app called “Interval Timer” on my iPhone and went at it. I took my dog Julius with me but he’s a goddamn wimp out in the heat so I immediately brought him back home and hit the pavement on my own. I did 10 intervals, 60 seconds of sprinting, then 60 seconds of fast walking. Here are some of the thoughts I contemplated prior to my workout:
1) I hate running in the heat – I should wait till the sun goes down – I’ll be able to run longer and harder if it’s cooler.
2) Running makes my legs sore and I want to train glutes on Monday.
3) I haven’t eaten enough today so I should go eat, then wait 45 minutes and then run.
4) I should read another article on Bodybuilding.com about HIIT cardio and then go run.
Those are all excellent reasons. You see, I’m well versed in the art of self-bullshitting. I can lie to myself all day long. Here’s what happened: I imagined myself being a soft-bellied amateur on stage with a bunch of trained hotties and before you know it, I was laced up and drinking some crack juice (aka, pre-workout supplement).
The funniest thing happens after I run: I feel fucking awesome. I feel like a bad-ass. I came home so pumped up and high on endorphins I went outside, laid down on a blanket on the grass and did some ab work. I did every ab exercise I knew in quick succession, took a quick 45 second rest, and did one more round. Julius licked sweat off the back of my legs as I planked and even though that is disgusting, I didn’t stop. Ewwwww.
I have to make my own perfect opportunities. I can’t wait for the sun to go down, I can’t wait for the temperature to drop, I can’t wait until I understand the ins and outs of perfect HIIT training techniques — I have to get the fuck out there and run my ass off. I have to train whenever I can, however I can, under whatever circumstances I am faced with.
“When the messenger of misery visits me…what’s going to keep me in the game?” That part of the video hit me hard. I think this is more than just a silly bikini competition to me.This will be a daily reminder that I’ve been going too easy on myself. Things have just been too damn comfortable. I need to break out and make some changes and this is the first one. I am going to do something that right now I am absolutely uncomfortable committing to. I need to embrace the idea that I can be my own biggest enemy and overcome that shitty little voice in my head telling me I can’t – when in my gut I know it’s possible.